A Call to Arms

Trip and I had a unique beginning. We met when I was a senior in high school.  Trip was only a sophomore.   He has always been a larger than life kind of guy, and so when we met, despite the age difference, I was immediately drawn to him.  We dated for a few months, but I was moving to college.  We all know how that goes.  So, we broke up.   We had no contact with one another for years.  During that time, God changed both of our lives dramatically.  I gave my life to Jesus and even moved to another country to share His love.  Meanwhile, Trip’s eyes were opened to the absolute TRUTH of the gospel, and he began experiencing the love of Jesus in a personal way.

While I was in China, Trip came across one of my newsletters which included my email address.  He took a chance and contacted me out of the blue.  I was taken completely by surprise.  It had been about 7 years since our break up, and the relationship didn’t end well.  Technology in 2003 was not what it is now. There was no social media so receiving emails was a huge deal–a highlight of my day.    I would get so frustrated though when Trip would send me a message.  Most times I would excitedly open it up and find one line . . .usually  a bible verse.  Now, don’t get me wrong! I love a good verse.  But really??  I’m across the world!  No “Hey how ya doin’?” or “Wow! Tell me all about your life for the past 7 years!”.  Nope!  None of that.  He had become a man of few words apparently.  Those who know my husband are as confused by this as I am!  Because of this, I really didn’t think much about his communications.  They were encouraging but not personal.  I had no idea that he was counting down the days until I touched down in the USA.

So, I get home.  And I wait.  Good grief.  This guy is such an enigma.  Nothing. I email him with the news that I have gotten back.   And I wait again.  I have no idea what he was thinking.  Maybe he was playing hard to get!  Or even worse, making me pay for that break up back in 1997.  He finally calls, and we set up a dinner together.  From the moment I got into that crimson (not to be confused with RED for all you Bulldogs out there) Ford 150, it was over for me.  COMPLETELY IN LOVE!  We laughed and talked all night.  

Now remember, since we had seen each other last both of us had huge life changes.  We really didn’t know what to expect from the other person.  I had gone so far as to be a missionary.  That kind of lifestyle choice comes with lots of generalizations as well as expectations.  A few weeks into our relationship Trip says the funniest thing to me.  He said, ” I really didn’t know what to expect you to be like.  I thought you would be meek and mild.”  Uhmmmmm . . . excuse me??  What does that mean exactly?  Because of the work I had been doing, he thought that I would be this quiet and demure woman who doesn’t laugh loud and talk incessantly.  We all know the stereotype.  This woman is shy to a fault and melds into the background.  She never laughs too loud.  Heck, you rarely even realize that she’s in the room.  Well .  .  .  that was not me!  Especially with Trip.  We were in love.  Everything he said was hilarious and amazing and sent directly from the lips of God Almighty Himself.  Obviously.  We could talk for hours and never cover the same topic because we were getting to know one another.  And we had seven years of separation to make up for!  The stereotypical female church mouse I was not.

This is where I want to sit and talk.   First of all, let’s talk about this word–meek.  Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”  (Matthew 5:5)  Meek comes from the Greek word praus.  There is no direct translation for this word, so it is most often associated with being gentle and humble.  But in the Greek culture, the word had a much more powerful connotation.  It is compared to a wild horse that has been tamed.  The tamed horse has not lost its strength. On the contrary, it has become even more powerful because now all of that energy can be focused and used in a controlled way.  It is harnessed power!  This is the word that I want to be associated with!!

Modern Christian women have the absolute wrong idea about the way that God intended us to be.  Because of cultural differences, we have a skewed idea about the biblical, Godly woman.  Honestly, think about how you see her.  She is quiet, completely submissive, fades into the shadows, almost a door mat.  She was bossed around by her husband who pretty much treated her like a slave.  Well I have some good news to share with you!  This is a lie straight from the pits of hell!  The real woman during biblical times was a phenom!  She was a warrior!  She cooked over a fire built with her hands without using a match.  She fed her family food that she more than likely grew herself. She had to kill and skin animals.  She birthed babies in her home with the help of a friend or neighbor.  And then more than likely got up within a day or so and went on with life as usual.  She had no central heat and air for crying out loud!  My power was out for 24 hours and you would have thought that the Apocalypse was happening.  She served her husband and family in every way, and they loved her for it.  This woman made sure that those who had been entrusted into her care had everything they needed.  Please note that I did not say wanted!  I said needed.  Ladies, hear me!  God did not create us to be damsels in distress.  We are not weak.  We do not need to hide our gifts and talents.  God gave us those gifts to bless and serve others. He never intended for us to hide in the shadows.  His desire for us is to be strong, productive members of our families and societies.  

Every day for the last week, I have read the verses in Proverbs written about a wife of noble character.  This woman is not an oppressed slave-like person. She is entirely the opposite of that.  

A Proverbs 31 woman is:

~valuable

~trusted

~busy

~eager

~responsible

~dependable

~energetic

~strong

~profitable

~compassionate

~giving

~fearless

~creative

~supportive

~productive

~dignified

~wise

~kind

~watchful

~beloved

~blessed

Does this sound like a doormat or a weak-willed woman?  Not even close!  When I compare myself to her I realize that I fall waaaayyyyy short.  Like, not even close. On a good day, I might be 3 of these things.  And never all at once! How does this woman do it, we ask.  How do we stay strong and positive and encouraging and productive every day without fail?  How do we keep on keeping on when life gets hard and messy and confusing?  The answer is tucked in there.  If we aren’t careful, we will miss this most glorious nugget of truth.  Solomon says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)

What is it about a relationship with God Almighty and Jesus Christ that gives us fortitude? What does it mean that “The joy of the Lord is our strength.”?  It means that when I feel true joy, I am energized.  When I feel loved, I am invincible.  When I feel hope,  I can not be stopped.  I will keep pushing and trying.  I will be consistent and persistent.  The Proverbs 31 woman “is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.”  She can laugh because instead of feeling fear of the future she trusts in her Lord.  She believes in His unfailing love even when times look bleak . . . even when bad things happen.  This trust comes only from saturating herself in the word of God and in prayer.  True strength can not be mustered up but comes from our souls.  As a woman, physical strength will never be something I can boast of.  Sure, I am healthy and for my size I am strong.  However, most any man could overpower me with very little effort.  But mental strength . . . spiritual strength is given by God Almighty. He is my source.  And in Him, with Him as my shield and fortress, I can never be overpowered.  

Women, this is your call to arms!  “Be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.” A woman who seeks the Lord and whose desire is to please HIM will never be perfect.  But her life will be a perfect reflection of the ONE to whom she serves.

It’s been twenty-one years since that first picture was taken.  Our marriage is stronger than ever.  We are as happy as we have ever been.  Trip still makes me laugh every single day.  I’m not saying that it’s all been sunshine and roses.  It hasn’t.  Without Christ as our foundation, I have no doubt that our marriage would not be what it is today.  God makes us strong . . . for Him . . . for each other.

Proverbs 31:10-31  (NIV)

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

^10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.