Little Girl

I am 5 feet tall.  And what I mean by that is I am 4’11” but with my shoes on I’m at least 5 feet.  Unless, of course, I’m wearing my favorite shoes. In that case, I would say I’m 5’2″.  My genes have also blessed me with an extremely youthful face. So, between my height and my face apparently I look about 12.  And that’s when I am dressed up fancy and looking my best! I would say I’m the size of your average 4th grader. Seriously.

In actuality, I’m 39 years 4 months and 5 days old.  I have a husband and 4 sons. My entire adult life has been spent working in some capacity.  Teaching was my profession until about a year and a half ago when I quit doing that to work at our family business.  When I first came on board with my father-in-law and husband, I was repeatedly asked by our customers if Trip (my husband) was my dad.  And when I would tell them, “No, he’s my husband!” I would always get the EXACT same response:  “You look just like a little girl!” Not a young lady or even a teenager.  A. LITTLE. GIRL.

Ya’ll.  Really?  In what alternate universe does a wife and mother of 4 want to be called a little girl? For months–months people!–I would just smile and laugh it off with a “Well, I’m not.  Look! Here are some pics of my children.”  So, here I was trying to learn a completely new profession feeling very incompetent some days and purposeless others questioning every decision that I had prayed through so fervently.   And now . . . I’m a child.

I found myself in the midst of a full blown identity crisis.

Listen, when you or someone else consistently labels you, eventually you will begin to believe it.  Think about it.  This happens with kids all the time.  We have to be so very careful with how we talk to ourselves and others.  And how we allow others to speak to us.  No one meant me any harm whatsoever.  Those people were not trying to be hurtful or insulting.  And neither would I ever intend to hurt another.  But words said without thought can set negativity in motion.

This is the place where God began to work.  I found myself with questions. Good questions. Important questions.  Who in the heck am I?  What do I like? What do I want?  What is my purpose?  Am I a little girl?

 

God began weaving and whispering as I searched for answers.  He began helping me to identify my likes and dislikes.  And even more importantly He began helping me to say yes to the things I love and no to the rest.

 

I continue to search and ask and discover.  And as I do the foundation of who I am is being etched upon my heart.  So, here goes.  This is the core of me.

I am God’s creation.  Genesis 1:27

I am known.  Matthew 10:30

I am wonderfully made.  Psalm 139:14

I am valuable.  Matthew 10:31

I am loved.  Romans 8:38-39

I am reconciled.  Romans 5:8

I am saved.  Romans 10:13

I am an heir of God.  Romans 8:16-17

I am new.  2 Corinthians 5:17

I am free.  Galatians 5:13

I am forgiven.  1 John 1:9

I am clean.  1 John 1:7-9

I am secure.  Romans 8:38-39

I am protected.  John 10:29

I am never alone.  Hebrews 13:5

I am accepted.  Romans 15:7

I am seen.  Matthew 25:34-40

I am heard.  1 John 5:14

I am not forgotten.  Hebrews 6:10

I am sealed.  Ephesians 1:13

I am strong.  2 Corinthians 12:9

I am empowered.  Acts 1:8

I am transformed.  2 Corinthians 3:18

I am chosen.  John 15:16

I am a servant.  Acts 26:16

I am an ambassador.  2 Corinthians 5:20

I am victorious.  1 Corinthians 15:57

And if you know Christ, SO ARE YOU!!!

A few minutes ago a lady came into the office.  Can you guess what she said?  Yep.  She really did. “You look just like a little girl.”  But . . . today I have my list.  I just typed it!  So, instead of wanting to body slam her, I just smiled and nodded.  No need to get in a wad.  I know what I am.  I know who I am.  More importantly . . . I know the One who is I AM.

“Jesus said to them, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I AM.'”

John 8:58